With each passing day I really came to regret that decision. I kept having contractions all day, every day. They were fairly mild but still painful, not at all consistent and they would disappear for awhile before coming back. I had decided that I would tell my doctor to induce me at my 40 week appointment because I was convinced this baby was not coming out on his own and my body was experiencing a special brand of torture.
Then the day before my due date (and appointment with my doctor) as Dillon left for work I experienced some really uncomfortable back pain and cramping. I didn't think much of it since I had been having pains for a week. But then a little while later it happened again and then again, and it definitely wasn't mild pain. This was around 5:30 in the morning. I decided to start timing them and they were about seven minutes apart.
I still wasn't convinced it was go time but decided I might as well get ready for the day as sleep was not happening. Then, rather rapidly, contractions were six minutes apart, then four, then three. At about 6:15 I called Dillon and told him to come home.
As I finished getting things together, my contractions were sporadic in timing but never more than four minutes apart. Once Dillon arrived, I called my mom (around 6:45) so that she could come hang out with Sawyer. She was just finishing up getting ready to go to work so she was able to pop over in just a few minutes.
Dillon and I drove to the hospital and checked in around 7:15 am. My contractions hadn't gotten any stronger and were still a few minutes apart. Nurse Hilary checked me and I was only at a 3+ borderline 4 so it was decided I would be monitored for a little bit. I was fine with that because I knew my body well enough to know I wasn't going home. And since my contractions were staying consistent for the time being I felt like I was safe to get the epidural even if I had to wait for awhile.
Dr. Gatherum came in about half an hour later to let me know that I was staying and definitely having this baby today (no surprise there). He laid out the plan for me. The nurse needed to start my IV and get blood samples, then he would break my water, then I could get the epidural. I had some worries about my water being broken before I got the epidural because I knew that would make the contractions hurt more. I asked Nurse Hilary about it and she said that the anesthesiologist was actually with another patient and then would basically be waiting right outside the door after Dr. Gatherum was done.
Nurse Hilary then started prepping to put my IV in. She tried twice with no luck. My veins were not cooperating. She would barely get the needle in and the vein would blow. She told me she won't stick a patient more than twice (sound policy I say) so she was going to grab another nurse to try it out. She came back with Nurse Jacie who I've known since I can remember and is close to my age. She checked out my veins for a minute and decide to try the other hand. She did the whole tie off the arm, flick around routine but couldn't find a good vein so she moved back to the other side. Tie off, flick, still nothing. Time for the vein finder. It was at this point that Nurse Kari arrived. She was to be my delivery nurse. Come to find out I went to school with three of her boys and she knew my parents really well. Small town livin'.
While we talked, Nurse Jacie used the vein finder and found a vein that at least looked decent. She tried to put in the IV and again the vein blew. I started to get dizzy from all the pokes so they laid me back further on the bed. Nurse Kari then found a vein she liked on the first side we tried but hey, guess what? My stupid vein popped just like the others. This was basically step one in my body being a big, fat traitor. If three nurses can't get it to work, I'm thinking it's not them that have the problem.
They called in Nurse Carolyn, my friend from my last delivery and a woman from my home ward growing up. She talked with the other nurses about the spots they had tried. They had avoided a vein in the top of my wrist since it would be in the way of my movement. Nurse Carolyn decided to give that vein a try anyway (and at that point I was thinking, "I don't care about reduced hand mobility, please just GET.IT.IN.") She numbed up the spot and got the IV in right away. I was so relieved but also so panicked. The whole IV process had taken well over an hour and I could tell my contractions were getting stronger (though not closer together) and I couldn't get the epidural without my IV in first.
They let Dr. Gatherum know my IV was in and about 9:15 he came in to break my water. That was an experience; all kinds of unpleasant. He then checked me and said I was at a five. I was relieved to hear I was only at a five. Pain relief could still potentially happen.
Almost right after Dr. Gatherum left, around 9:30, the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. My contractions were so much closer together and hurt on a new level. The anesthesiologist witnessed a few of my contractions while prepping me and said, "Hey, don't go complete on me now." I assured him I really, really did not want to.
Nurse Kari had stayed with me and was helping me through getting the epidural. As I contracted, amniotic fluid was still leaking out..and all over Nurse Kari's shoe. She took it in stride and joked about how the exact same thing had happened the day after she bought them. It almost worked as a distraction but my contractions were intense.
Nurse Kari asked if I was feeling pressure to push. I knew I was starting to and told her kind of. Because if I said kind of, it wasn't happening yet, right? The epidural could still work right? The anesthesiologist had finished at this point and was concerned that I was already feeling pressure. I didn't know it at the time but Dillon told me later that the anesthesiologist then gave me a shot right into my back in hopes to help with the pain. (*Update: Since writing this, Dillon has informed me that after giving me a shot right in the back, the anesthesiologist didn't even bother hooking up the epidural. He clearly knew what I didn't yet, that it was too late.)
The anesthesiologist left, my epidural had not kicked in (for now obvious reasons, it wasn't there), and my contractions were practically on top of each other. The pain was making me all sorts of vocal (although my nurses and Dillon assured me that I was not as loud as I thought I was..though who knows if they were just being nice). I exclaimed in a panicked voice to Nurse Kari, "I swear this baby is coming out!". She checked me and said I was at an eight. It was at this point some kind of desperate prayer of "Please God, please" passed through my head in hopes that the epidural would kick in enough to at least take the edge off. (So naive. Time had become a blur at this point but I don't think even five minutes had passed between me getting the epidural and being told I was at an eight. And it had only been, maybe, twenty-five minutes from the time my water was broken and I had only been at a five.)
Nurse Kari called for all the equipment to be brought in and then Dr. Gatherum came in. As they prepped, all I could think was that this could not be happening. Going natural (even though I had tried not to) was one of my biggest fears.
They checked me again and I was complete. Time to push. I whimpered Dillon's name as they got me in position and had him grab a leg.
As I pushed the first time the pain and pressure were so intense it was completely overwhelming and, for me, terrifying.
After a couple of pushes, Nurse Kari said they were going to lay me back so I could better curve around the baby and be more effective in pushing. Fetch. I pushed through another set but it definitely wasn't my best effort. I was stuck in this moment of "get this baby out" and "it hurts too much, too much."
Nurse Kari kept telling me to breathe. My oxygen levels were not awesome, apparently. I told her I was sorry, I really was trying. She assured me I didn't have to apologize. She then told me she knew it hurt but the harder I tried the quicker it would be over. So the next round I pushed harder and she told me my baby was right there. That was the motivation I needed. I pushed again and could feel him crowning. He didn't come out with that set and I did not want to feel that crowning business anymore so with the next push, I pushed as hard as I could. Again, so much pressure, but then relief as his head finally came out.
Dr. Gatherum told me to wait (so he could clean out the airway and what not) but after about half a second my mind and body both said, "Nope, none of this waiting stuff." I could feel his shoulders and just wanted to be done so I pushed again and our baby boy was delivered at 10:08 am.
They laid him on my chest and I cuddled him while they took care of the aftermath. Cord, afterbirth, stitches. Nurse Hilary, who had been in and out during this whole process, let Dr. Gatherum know that Dillon did not want to cut the cord. She had asked Dillon when we first arrived and he seemed relieved when she said it was fine that he didn't want to.
Once things were more settled, the nurses and Dr. Gatherum congratulated us and told me over and over what a good job I did and how fast that labor was. I felt like I did what I had to and though I knew the labor and delivery had been fast, it certainly hadn't felt like it. But as I stared down at our second little miracle, even as my body throbbed and ached, I couldn't help but be so proud and so content. Definitely not how I anticipated bringing our baby into this world but man, we got a pretty perfect result.
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| Dawson Dale Thatcher 7 lb 9 oz, 19 in long |
Good Morning DaNae. How I enjoyed your blog post. What a special young lady you are. Photo of Sawyer holding Dawson, is a classic.
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