Grandpa Ken

Sawyer

Sawyer has officially developed the skill of blowing his own nose. This is particularly wonderful since I haven't been trying to teach him to do it at all, and he just did it all of the sudden. I will take any new skill he develops that comes easily as the best gift ever.

When he's particularly pleased with the flavor of whatever food or drink he's consuming he declares it as, " 'licious!" Sometimes, "pree good" but usually, " 'licious" is where it's at.

He apparently is now afraid of entering our church building entirely because he assumes it means nursery. Dillon went to go with him to nursery a couple of weeks ago (WITH him, not leave him there) and they got two steps in the door when Sawyer threw up everywhere. So the next week I told Sawyer he could just go to mom's class the whole time, we wouldn't even walk by nursery. He seemed fine until the closing hymn started to play in sacrament. He looked at me all panicked and exclaimed, "Toys, no! No. Toys." and while I tried to tell him that he wasn't going to play with toys but was going to go to mom's class, he threw up. Ugh. We cleaned up the floor, I took Dawson to Sunday school (the second hour of church) and Dillon took Sawyer home to change and then come back. We survived Sunday school and I decided to take Sawyer with me to the third hour while Dillon took Dawson with him. Our Relief Society president had a treat for all the women that she wanted us to grab before the lesson started. I picked Sawyer up in my arms and went to get in line when he started to gag (he must have thought I was leaving him? Or taking him somewhere else?). So I tried to run out in the hall while covering his mouth. And he puked. Again. Down my dress, all over himself, a nice trail on the carpet. And then I realized that I had left our bag. I ran back in (while trying to balance the puddle of digested pretzels sitting on my chest) to grab our bag and Sawyer continued to empty his stomach in the hallway. I started to scrub the carpet with wipes while trying to console my inconsolable son when a few sisters jumped into action and literally brought me to tears of relief. One went to go grab Dillon and some cleaning powder from the nursery. One whipped out her own container of wipes and an empty Ziploc bag for me to clean Sawyer off with. And the others started cleaning up the floor. They told me to go ahead and go home with Sawyer; that they would take care of it. They insisted that it was not a big deal. But it was a huge deal for my overwhelmed and completely frustrated self. But we made it home, got cleaned up and everything was much calmer.

This last week Sawyer had big puddles of tears welled up in his eyes when we told him it was time to get ready for church and he wouldn't let me out of his sight. He mostly sat on my lap during sacrament and would repeatedly ask if we were going to, "yours class" and I would reassure him that he was going to be with me the whole time. But when the closing prayer was said and everybody was filing out, he still started to breathe heavy and then vomited literally three seconds after that. So home it was. At this point I pretty much glared up at heaven and demanded, "What gives? I'm just trying to attend church but going inactive is looking pretty good at this point." I was full of petulance, clearly. Not my finest moment.

Sawyer is currently sporting one pink toenail. He saw me touching up some chips on my own toes and wanted to know if he could have a turn. I kindly obliged, but only one toe because there's no way he was going to be able to handle five of them drying while he held still. We took turns blowing on it until it dried and now he happily points out his toe to all the people and lets them know that we fixed it.

Dawson

Dawson is a big, old Daddy's boy. He loves attention from most anyone but when his dad is home, he follows him around like crazy and whines for Dillon, and only Dillon, to hold him. And he chatters away at him, telling Dillon everything about his day. The cutest.

This baby is going to be responsible for all of our emergency room visits. I just know it. He does things I never had to worry about with Sawyer. (1) He climbs on EVERYTHING and gets to places that he shouldn't be able to, constantly giving me a heart attack. (2) The other day as I came back from throwing something in the trash, I found him reaching into the deepest corners of the tray on our fireplace and pulling back ashes to shove in his mouth. (3) While I was giving him and Sawyer a bath he kept trying to stand up and then as I was making him sit back down, he got mad and threw himself forward, causing him to slip head first into the water. He was only that way for a split second since I had a hold of his little limbs but man alive, it was scary. His stubbornness and determination to try to defy death every day is wearing me out.

Dillon

Dillon's fall softball started a few weeks ago. The first game he missed a couple of grounders and as a result bought a softball, rota-tilled our garden, and made me hit grounders at him in our backyard. So funny. He also sported a gigantic thigh bruise from one of the softballs for a while and would wince every time the kids touched his leg. Poor guy.

A couple of weeks ago Dillon's sister Kristin called to tell us that their Grandpa Ken wasn't doing very good. Dillon decided to leave work early and we drove over to Delta so that we could see him. When we got to the house, it was clear he was struggling. He couldn't get out of bed or keep anything down and he was having a hard time recognizing people. It hurt to see him hurting. 

We were there while his home teachers gave him a priesthood blessing. Dillon talked to him and then we left in hopes that he could get some rest. We drove home the next day so that Dillon could get a few hours in at work and later that day got the news that Papa Bozo had passed away. We are so glad and so grateful that we had the opportunity to see him one last time.

As painful as it is to lose people, Dillon agreed that it was comforting that his grandpa had lived a long life and that he didn't have to suffer long after his body was done. I only had the opportunity to know Grandpa Ken for a little over seven years and I can tell you that he was a big ball of kindness wrapped in a bubble of gruffness. When Dillon and I decided to get married, Ken bought us our temple bags and clothes as a wedding gift. So priceless. He was also responsible for putting me in a position of having to bathe a naked family member by offering the opportunity to make twenty bucks but not telling me how- that story will have to be typed out in all it's glory another time but it will live on in infamy.

Grandpa Ken had specified that he didn't want a lot of fanfare after he passed and that he wanted to be cremated and buried by his tree on the farm. So we traveled back to Delta for his memorial service the Thursday before Labor Day and then the family buried him the next day. Dillon and his family also spent some time going through the house and separating the things that his Nana had labeled for specific people before she died. It brought up a lot of memories and stories that were great to hear. Grandpa Ken (Papa Bozo) will be missed and it makes me sad that our kids won't know him better but what a special thing for him to be reunited with Dillon's nana and other family members.

DaNae

I had my first "if I don't get out of here by myself for a hot minute I will LITERALLY go crazy" moment and told Dillon that the boys would be staying with him for an hour while I went somewhere. Anywhere. Frankly, I needed a chance to miss them because I was so on edge. It hadn't even really been a hard day (at least not more than usual) but I was feeling particularly claustrophobic (and hormones probably played a role). Ironically, I ended up at a store and bought stuff for the boys with a gift card we had. Seems about right. And then I grabbed lunch for just myself, parked in a parking lot, and ate it in the car. All alone. It was dreamy. And the perfect little sixty-minute reset I needed to be a human again.

I've also been playing Taylor Swift's new songs on repeat and getting excited for her new album. She is one artist whose CD's I consistently purchase. This past week I considered the fact that I should probably be a little embarrassed that I'm almost thirty and am still totally into her music. But then I remembered that T-swift and I were born in the exact same year (I'm not a stalker fan but learned this fact when she title her last album 1989) so I can't be too old for her music when we're the same age. Right? Right. Anyway, her first song took a couple listens and then I was hooked but I will admit I'm not totally loving the second single she released.

Trying on a hat at Papa Bozo's

Allie and Dawson

Taking this Frazzle obsession to the next level

We took Thank You cookies around to the ladies that helped clean up his bodily fluids during church

Making some sensory bottles

Water, oil, and food coloring *this one is only cool for a little bit and then get's murky*

Letting him help with the corn syrup for the second bottle

And the glitter. Face palm.

This bottle (water, corn syrup, and glitter) is still going strong and has a snow globe effect. Sawyer will shake it and then say, "Pree cool" while he watches it swirl. Every time.

At the memorial service

Conning Jaidyn into going outside so he could look at the moon

Dillon's dad and siblings after the burial

Papa Steve and the grandkids

Grandma Ronna and the grandkids

His favorite seat that day

A little Gossner's Milk

Dawson had plenty of opportunities to be loved on

Me and Daws-boss

Eating at the Taco Truck in honor of Papa Bozo

Delta has the best little..creek I guess?..in their city park that the boys love to play in

Andee and Dawson

Bathtime

At the splashpad with Allie

This is where Sawyer wanted to be literally every second of our Delta trip. One morning he woke up bright and early and immediately wanted to "Go juuump?" And he basically took turns asking different family members to go jump. Then started abandoning that tactic and would just let himself out when we weren't looking.

Playing with Kailey. Allll the dirt. Kristin's tub had a nice mud layer after the resulting bath.