Sawyer
We've spent a lot of time experimenting with Sawyer's church-related anxiety and how best to help him feel calm. I took him with me to a Relief Society activity since Dillon had softball and I knew Sawyer wouldn't go in the nursery room with Dawson and the other kids. We walked into the activity, he saw one of the Sunday nursery workers and promptly barfed (thankfully we had the trash can by us). I was just going to stay home after that but he was so sad because I had told him that he and I were going to go to dinner together, just us. He cried and exclaimed, "Dinner with you! Stay with you!" So I cleaned him up and back we went. One of the men from the ward, who was serving dinner, saw us and whipped out some brand new fidget spinners for Sawyer to pick from and play with in hopes that it would help distract him. It seemed to do the trick and we were able to stay for the rest of the activity. It was a really sweet gesture and so very appreciated.
Sundays have still been hard. We tried having my parents come, bringing different toys, giving him a heads up that it was church day, not giving him a heads up, sitting in a different spot. But so far nothing has worked. My dad and Dillon gave him a blessing to help Sawyer know he's loved and to hopefully help him feel safe. The words from little Sawyer's blessing have helped me to be less frustrated and to just embrace that this is an obstacle for him right now. And maybe that's how it needs to be. More love and assurance, less "fixing".
Thankfully, about 98% of our ward members have really rallied behind our little guy and have offered sympathy and help. There have been a couple of people who were not so helpful, more condescending and critical because, clearly they have all the answers. BUT after letting it bother me for a minute, I've decided to ignore them and really just be full of gratitude for the majority of kind, thoughtful people that we're surrounded by.
Sawyer is loving the days that he gets to paint. He decorated a shirt that is his designated "Painting Shirt". The first time he wore it though, he immediately wanted it off. I think it was because the puff paint made it stiff and he didn't love how it felt. After that first time of convincing him to keep it on, he's been cool with it for as long as he is painting. As soon as he's done, he wants his regular shirt back.
One day when we were painting, I painted a smiley face on his paper. He thought it was just about the best thing he's ever seen and asked for me to help him do one. And now he asks for help to "do a happy" over and over and all of his artwork is filled with them.
Lately Sawyer and Dawson take turns waking up way too early for my liking but on the days that Sawyer wakes up before his brother, he clambers onto my bed, asks for some blankie and snuggles right on in. Sometimes he reaches out so that his hand is touching my arm, sometimes he softly pats my cheek and whispers, "S'okay mommy" and sometimes he chatters away about the things on his mind. Those early mornings are some of my favorite moments with him right now.
Dawson
Dawson got a belated eleven month post here and already needs another update because he's changing so fast. One of his newest, and most favorite, developments is to crawl behind our couches. Because he knows he can fit and I can't. He'll crawl right to the middle so I can't pull him from either side and just laugh and laugh. I've had to create a chair barricade to block the gaps so I don't have to keep sliding the couches out to get him out.
He is suddenly really nervous about the vacuum, which came out of nowhere. When I turn it on, he immediately crawls up to me to be held while it's in use.
He's become really awful when it comes to car rides. He's never really loved being in his car seat but he became pretty chill about it once he decided binkies were okay. Now, however, he chucks his binky and screams even if it's just a five minute ride to the store. It's pretty much horrible.
He thinks it's funny to head butt...basically everything. Our heads, the wall, the washer, the floor, his toys. He does it so, so hard and then laughs at himself. He almost always has a bruise on his forehead from it.
He gives some of the best little loves. Every time I get him out of his crib after he's been sleeping, he smiles, leans on my shoulder, and sighs a sweet little sigh. Melts me. He's generous with his loves all around but definitely only when he's in a good mood.
Dawson has decided in the past couple of weeks that diaper and/or outfit changes are pure torture. He wails like he's being skinned alive, turns purple, and makes all of his neck/head veins pop. He tries to roll away which, of course, makes it take ten times longer. We both are generally breathing like we've run a marathon by the time it's done.
Dillon
Dillon has been in charge of date night this month and has been rocking it. One night he looked up some Harry Potter food recipes to make and we discovered that pumpkin pasties are not, in fact, a dessert. They're almost more pot-pie-ish. But they were delicious along with the butter beer recipe we tried. He also took me to see the movie Home Again which was full of cheesy happiness. I really need that kind of movie sometimes. Just a feel good, everybody wins kind of movie. And I love that Dillon will see those movies with me and genuinely enjoy our time together, no complaints.
Dillon also had some really awesome developments at his work that led to him being moved to salary rather than being an hourly wage employee. We get to see him more and he doesn't have to stress about making up hours if he happens to miss a day (there are so many other benefits but those are two of the top for us right now). We're so grateful for the blessing that this is for our family and to see Dillon's hard work paying off.
DaNae
Lately I've really just been trying to remember how fast time goes and to really revel in the good moments. I'm not perfect at it but after realizing that I only have the smallest window left with Sawyer before he goes to school, the saying, "The days are long, but the years are short" kept sticking in my mind. So I'm trying harder to play with my babies more.
I finished the "How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler" book and was disappointed. Not in the book itself. It has some really, really great tips; even just for parenting in general. But it didn't really have much to offer for the specific situation we have with Sawyer. It had a few tidbits to offer under general separation anxiety but those were mostly things we already do. Which I will take as good news, because at least we seem to be on the right track but I was hoping there would be something new for us to try.
More and more, I'm really grateful for kind children. Especially the ones who are older than Sawyer but are so sweet to him. Particularly the kids who we don't know but happen to run into at the parks we visit. Those kids who will play with and help Sawyer really just make me so happy. I totally understand the older children who don't want to play with a random two-year-old (I think I was more like that) and don't hold a grudge against them at all. But there have been a few older kids who have been outright mean to Sawyer and have ticked me off. (Like the little girl who purposely kicked him in the chest with both of her feet and launched him so that he hit the back of his head on the pavement. She was probably eight or so and apparently didn't want him to breathe by her. I totally was "that mom" and told her to try harder to be nice and not purposely hurt little kids and then told Sawyer she was a mean girl and not to play with her). Those kids make me even more grateful for the includers of the child universe and remind me to try to teach my kids to be that way.
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| Caterpillar painting |
Dawson clapping
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| Playing Kerplunk with Dillon |
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| The pumpkin pasties Dillon made. So pretty! |
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| Painting his shirt |
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| Watching Austin play soccer. He looves these glasses that I *think* Mason gave to him. They made it home with us after a Delta trip and Dillon made it sound like Mason gave them to Sawyer so hopefully that's the case and we didn't actually steal them. |
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| Stop loving me mom |
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| Such joy and straight up heartbreak during our Target visit |
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| He's at the age where the rides in the mall or at the grocery store are just so tempting and fun |
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| A little morning head pat |
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| Dawson is too short to reach the toys at the bottom of the box but still insists on trying. It makes for some good laughs. |
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| At Braden's football game. Sawyer likes to help by pushing Dawson in the stroller every chance he gets. Also, notice the glasses again. |
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| The best picture of this hammock baby in some Fall weather |
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| Hanging with the adults in Sunday School |
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| TJ Maxx excursion. Glasses still going strong. |
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| Decorating cupcakes |
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| Icing duty. And the cupcakes sprinkled by Sawyer. |
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| Just happy to be part of the group during our cupcake decorating |
Sawyer asking to "do a happy"
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| All of those smiley faces in his painting and coloring |
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| Helping with some juice drinking |
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| Dawson has become really attached to this stuffed Hedwig he got for Christmas from Dillon's sisters. This is the best picture I could get of him snuggling it because he rubs it back and forth across his face so..blurry. But it's the cutest. |
Sawyer was being so funny with his fish face and asking for bedtime kisses so I tried to get him to do it again while I videoed and instead I got this desperate, "Wanna go to bed!" from him.
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| His typical state when his requests are not met how he wants them to be. In this case, I took away a snotty tissue before he could play with it. |
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| This tunnel is a favorite hangout |
